


Seven Months

by nishiwishi



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-07
Updated: 2013-04-07
Packaged: 2017-12-07 19:08:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/751989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nishiwishi/pseuds/nishiwishi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry dies, Louis writes him a letter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seven Months

**Author's Note:**

> Hii! This is my first AO3 fic, so I hope it's alright?
> 
> Basically, Harry dies, and Louis misses him, and this happens.
> 
> This is actually something I wrote for someone else, but I thought it would work here, so...

Seven months. I can't believe it's been seven fucking months since you left me. All alone. Why?

 

Sometimes I let myself think about you, then realize it was a mistake. But I keep doing it again and again. Why am I letting you inflict this much pain on me? 

 

I wish I had told you how I felt about you, before you left me. It wasn't really your fault, I suppose, but that doesn't stop me from blaming you anyways. 

 

I miss simply sitting next to you, that was always enough for me. Or when I would walk into your room unannounced and we would just talk for hours. I miss the little things, like how you were always so happy and how you brought a smile to everyone's faces, not just mine.

 

I never got mad at you when you woke me up in the middle of the night, like I would with anyone else. Even though it was usually for something silly, like food. It scared me then how you had so much power over me. If you told me to jump, I'd do it without hesitation. I adored everything you did, whether or not it was stupid. You were perfect to me. 

 

I know you loved her- that didn't matter to me, didn't make me jealous. It just made me love you even more, and that makes no sense at all. I just knew that I loved you more than she did, than she ever would.

 

But you were also my best friend, my brother. You told me things you didn't tell anyone else, because you knew I wouldn't tell anyone either. And don't worry yourself, love, I know you didn't mean to hurt me like you did. 

 

It's sad and confusing to know that at one point in our lives, we weren't this close. It feels like we've been like this forever. Can we go back in time? I just want to go back and do everything all over again, maybe this time I can make you stay with me.

 

It's weird- I don't cry when I hear sad songs that are supposed to describe my feelings right now. I cry when I hear your favorite songs, our favorite songs. They're the things that bring back memories I would do anything to relive. Like when we would sing to them in your car, or dance to them when we thought no one was looking. When I go back to places we used to go, I try to think of the good memories. It's not that hard, until I turn to share them with you and you're not there.

 

Your sister hasn't really let it sink in that you're gone. I've been spending a lot of time with her, but she doesn't remind me of you. You're both so different. Your mom keeps asking why you left. Why did you leave? I don't know how to answer her. No one does. And your father...he's just trying to keep everything together. 

 

Our friends, they try to act normal. But I know it hurts them too. It's not easy to overlook the fact that you're not there. You were always the center of attention, or at least the center of my attention. Now I don't know what to do around them anymore. We've all grown apart, or is it just me? I can't tell. I don't think they know how much I'm hurting, how close I really was to you. 

 

You know, one of the last things you told me was that we all have to grow old sometime. We were talking about the song Forever Young, right? It's sad that you'll never get to grow old, even if neither of us wanted to. It was something I was hoping to get through with you, but now I'm all alone.

 

We barely ever fought, and when we did it was about something silly that we would fix in a matter of hours. I guess that's a good thing, none of my time spent with you was wasted on awkward silences and stares, waiting to see who would apologize first. This still surprises me though, because we were both so stubborn and alike in so many ways. 

 

I'll be with you. If not soon, then eventually. As much as I want to see you now, I know you wouldn't have wanted that of me, and you probably wouldn't have understood why I would even do it. You didn't know I loved you, that I was in love with you, that I'm still in love with you. But that aside, I would still feel the same way, because you were the closest person to me. It seems I miss you more than anyone else does. At least that's what it looks like to me. 

 

I'm rambling now aren't I? Well, basically, all I wanted to say was I love you, and I miss you. 

Goodbye, my love.


End file.
